Tomorrow, Tomorrow.

When I wake up in the morning, it will be the first day of the new life I want to live. Can I be honest here? I am really nervous. It didn't work out last summer when I tried. I allowed myself to talk me out of really doing the work. I had a couple of set backs, and instead of picking up again and restarting, I just let myself be complacent with the way things were. So this time, I just have to keep in mind what I am working toward. I am doing this for my health, my husband, for the children I want to have in the next few years, and to have the chance to shop in the fun girl stores.

I know I am not the only one that finds shopping with friends awkward. It can get so embarrassing. I am the only one in my group of friends that cannot possibly wear anything in most of the clothing stores we go in. I just awkwardly walk around the store, trying to keep from making eye contact. Why no eye contact, you ask? Because I always feel like they are looking at me and thinking, "She can't wear anything in here." Now I know that I am probably projecting my own thoughts on them, but I swear if I go in a chain store the sales people tend to just "not notice" me unless I walk up to the shoe section.

My goal in this is not to be able to wear a bikini at the beach... I just want to be "noticed" when I walk into a clothing store.

So tomorrow it begins. I will keep track of my diet, and I will exercise. I will not berate myself over any small failure, it is life. I will pick up and get back to it again. And with Haley by my side, I will push towards the goals I will set for myself.