The Weigh Down

So you're going to get a little more soul searching from me today. It helps me, I have to talk through my emotions.

What has all this extra weight done to me? It has hindered me. Hindered me in ways that I never should have allowed it to do so. I know that this is going to be heavy, and if you don't want to see the hard stuff you should look away now. My weight has kept me from being what I could be. It has kept me cycling through depression. It has kept me from going back to school and using the intelligence God gave me to earn a big girl degree. I have been told by many, many people that I should have been a journalist. I still think I should. But do you understand when I tell you that my weight still hinders me on that?

After all of the years it has taken me to get to this point, I still feel like I am living outside of my real self. God gave me the ability to string words together with some grace and I need to use it. While I am kicking myself in the behind to shed these pounds I need to be kicking myself to explore my abilities. Depression can be a deep, dark void. You fall into it and find that you are comfortable there even if you don't want to be. I know when I am disappearing under the surface, I have always known. Now I have more will to fight against it. I have things to live for. But I haven't always felt that way, and it has held me back.

My weight has oppressed me. It has worn on my body, my joints... my soul.

My husband, my friends, my family, the children I dream of having... they deserve the BEST me. They deserve a me that has broken free from the binds that weight once placed on her. They deserve my best mind, my healthiest body, and my laugh. That's right, my laughter. I can be pretty darn amusing when I want to be, and all those important to me deserve that from me. Weight will no longer ruin my days, ruin my desire to be sociable. I have blatantly avoided social situations because I felt I was too fat to go. No more!

So my dear Saucony running shoes... You're about to get a whole lot of abuse.

So it really has begun.

The fabulous duo invaded Planet Fitness today and completed our first joint work out together. Neither of us have really done the buddy system before and both of us decided we are big fans. We were able to chat and joke around as we worked out. The gym is small, but it has a lot of machines and it was not very crowded at all. Plus they had purple pens. Very cool.

We came back to Haley's house and had a low calorie lunch, both of us keeping track of our calories in our food journal. We took our before pictures and made some more plans for the rest of the week. All over a very productive day... weight loss wise. (Katie may have skirted out on doing some laundry to come spend the afternoon with Haley.)

So far so good.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow.

When I wake up in the morning, it will be the first day of the new life I want to live. Can I be honest here? I am really nervous. It didn't work out last summer when I tried. I allowed myself to talk me out of really doing the work. I had a couple of set backs, and instead of picking up again and restarting, I just let myself be complacent with the way things were. So this time, I just have to keep in mind what I am working toward. I am doing this for my health, my husband, for the children I want to have in the next few years, and to have the chance to shop in the fun girl stores.

I know I am not the only one that finds shopping with friends awkward. It can get so embarrassing. I am the only one in my group of friends that cannot possibly wear anything in most of the clothing stores we go in. I just awkwardly walk around the store, trying to keep from making eye contact. Why no eye contact, you ask? Because I always feel like they are looking at me and thinking, "She can't wear anything in here." Now I know that I am probably projecting my own thoughts on them, but I swear if I go in a chain store the sales people tend to just "not notice" me unless I walk up to the shoe section.

My goal in this is not to be able to wear a bikini at the beach... I just want to be "noticed" when I walk into a clothing store.

So tomorrow it begins. I will keep track of my diet, and I will exercise. I will not berate myself over any small failure, it is life. I will pick up and get back to it again. And with Haley by my side, I will push towards the goals I will set for myself.

Haley and Katie, the fat fighting duo!

Left- Katie, Right- Haley

Hello everyone! We are Katie and Haley. We have decided to team up together to try and accomplish our weight loss and healthy living goals, and we are going to be sharing our journey with you. We will start out with telling you a little about us:

Haley is a 26 year old registered nurse that works in the medical intensive care unit at her local hospital. She is single, and the proud momma of a Yorkshire Terrier named Millie and a cat named Libby. Haley's weight battle has been a roller coaster, she has gone up and down several times but now she wants to go down and stay down. She is also fighting to stop smoking.

Katie is a 25 year old stay at home wife that is a proud momma of her Boston Terrier named Maddie, a black Labrador named Major and a cinnamon ferret named Milo. Her hubby Micah is an electrician. Katie's own weight issues have existed since her teen years. She has PCOS which has led to her being over weight, but with a new treatment plan she is hoping that she can get better results this time around.

Both of us live in central Alabama and became friends during our college years. We are officially kicking off our fat busting campaign on Monday morning! Wish us luck! We hope to use this blog to help keep us honest, share this journey with our friends and family, and make new friends in the blog community. Each of us will also be posting individually. (though Katie will probably update more frequently). We will be posting soon with our starting weights and our game plans after we get together and figure it out.

Have a great weekend everyone!
Haley and Katie